Happy 2016 And The Great Disappearance Act

Spent a blissful two and a half weeks with my family in California and close friend in Texas (shout out to Kimmy dearest for taking me to NASA and feeding me brisket!) for the first time since moving to Japan. In the spirit of the holidays, my technology was turned off in order to properly revel in family and friend time. Needless to say, I ate EVERYTHING (the trespass of which I was already admonished for during Wednesday’s ballet class #YOLO #ITWASWORTHEVERYCALORIE #MYTUTUSTILLFITSIFISUCKITIN), but even better than food was the quality time I spent among the people who love and support me most in the world: my parents.

My dad took a significant amount of time off of work to take me to all manner of doctor’s and dentist’s appointments, drive me around, play games well past both our bedtimes, and watch all the movies and TV shows that we needed to catch up on. Mum’s schedule, being what it was, allowed for mostly afternoon jaunts but I’m grateful for every precious second I spent in their company. Oh, yes, and my sister 😉 She and I put up with each other marvelously well, all things considered.

So that brings me to the month before I was in the States, when the internet pulled a great disappearing act. What happens when you’ve been paying your bills on time, when your router set isn’t broken, and the only problem showing up is “Check with your provider”?

Something I learned about Japanese internet: you will be dealing with three separate companies (Finance, Internet Provider’s Provider, and said Internet Provider) none of which have any helpful English lines in place (NTT claims it does; does not; and only NTT Finance had anyone remotely fluent enough to provide the assistance I needed via the Finance side).

I dedicate this post to Mari from NTT Finance, who not only bullied NTT into releasing my information to me (thus saving me an extra seven business days per interaction, a total of 21 once totaled), but generally got S*** done. I have never met anyone with such a go-getter attitude this side of the Pacific. Where everyone else was like, “I’m not sure if I’m allowed to do that and I’m not going to ask my superior because this is the one way things have always been done”, Mari’s response was very Disney “Let’s see what we CAN do about this problem”. Sadly this only got me as far as: Well, it’s not NTT’s fault. It’s your provider’s.

To which my brilliant response was: I thought NTT was my provider.

And a witty repartee ensued.

NTT: No. We take care of the finance side and NTT East provides the service to a provider who then has you pay for the glory of signing a contract with them.

ME: So you haven’t choked my internet and it’s not a financial issue?

NTT: That’s about right, Ms. Customer.

ME: So who’s my provider?! I only ever received information from NTT!

NTT: Uh, we can’t disclose that information.

ME: Whaaaaa…. How am I supposed to solve anything?

NTT: …

So while I keep receiving bills for internet I’m theoretically supposed to be able to use… I don’t actually have internet and I am now currently leaching off my workplace.

I hope to update with all manner of Foreign Film Friday posts that never got published and photos from the holidays and travel information I amassed over said holidays… all of which are stuck on my American phone, but I can’t until my WIFI is back. Work doesn’t have WIFI, we just have the LAN connection chord of doom.

Hopefully this is resolved. Soon. >.>”

Resolved as of 11:40 am. Three cheers for being taught how to hack into your router and resetting the damn thing. YAY! \O/

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The Japanese School System from an American Perspective

Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know. -Daniel J. Boorstin

Today marks the official end of the third semester. Yes, it’s the final end to the strange, strange practice of attending school for 8 weeks just so that the third years can study their brains out for the high school entrance exam. Saying good-bye to my beloved third years was quite painful. As one of them summarized it for me: ‘Goodbye for forever!’

*insert sad face*

From April on wards, we begin the whole ritual of entrance ceremonies and school life all over again. As an educator of seven months and a few odd days, it’s difficult to have an unbiased perspective because I’m still figuring out what my role in the school system is and how to best utilize to teach language and culture sensitively but it seemed like a good starting point nonetheless. I might update this piece again in another couple of months for the one year anniversary of my arrival in Japan. In the meantime…

School life. Otherwise known as, the never-ending compulsory thirteen years of general education specialization of doom. And then some, because let’s be honest, all the good jobs require at least a baccalaureate degree in Something (in America, it rarely matters what… unless, you know, you want to be doctor or a nurse).

So what do you kids learn in school these days, eh? I think it was quite funny that the principle at one of my junior highs really drove this point home:

Principal: ‘So third years, what do you use (insert ridiculous equation here) for?’

Third years: *BLANK STARES*

Principal: Step it up. High school’s much harder than what you’re doing here.

Anyway, here’s the basic breakdown of what the education system looks like (for the most part) in the United States…

‘MERICA

Teachers: the institution you entered is the institution from which they will drag your cold, hard body off the desk. Tenure is practically guaranteed at the ten year mark. Also, you do not transfer from school to school within the district. If you are a middle school teacher, you do not walk from class to class, rather you have your own classroom and the students are expected to walk from class to class. You emphasize the importance of critical thinking over rote memorization. You don’t end work just because you’ve clocked out. If anything you’re grading papers while attending your daughter’s science fair or your son’s piano recital. When invited to a dinner party, you’re grading papers from appetizers to dessert and have subsequently lost all rights to being invited anywhere by your other friends.

Preschool (optional): finger painting, ABCs, 1-2-3s, and other exciting adventures in the realm of learning how to use the toilet properly.

Elementary School (Kindergarten to 6th grade): the seven single most fun years of education, replete with projects, interactive reports, and learning how to negotiate a fare trade from chocolate pudding to Hot Cheetoes during lunch. This was the life. Sadly, we didn’t know it until much later. Subjects learned: Math, Science, History, Physical Education, Social Studies, Music, Computers, English/Cursive (I’m probably dating myself here since cursive is no longer taught).

Middle School (7th and 8th grade): Suddenly, nothing was ever simple again. Raging hormones, blasting Lincoln Park through the house, and school dances. You learn to hide what you’re really feeling because the animals will tear apart the weakest link in any group. Also, group work sucks. Subjects learned: Math, Science, World History, American History, English, Physical Education, Drama/Home Economics/Band/Wood Shop/Etc., Home Room. Life is about attitude. It’s about being you in the face of a world that’s trying to socialize you to look like the previous generation. *insert Lincoln Park lyrics: I tried so hard and got so far but in the end it doesn’t even matter…*

High School (9th, 10th, 11th, 12th grade): Suddenly there are all of these REQUIREMENTS to graduate and tests. All the tests in world: AP tests, SAT tests, high school exit exams, and then just your average test of the month/semester/year. The there is finding out your sexuality and where you fit in the grander scheme of things and finding a way to leave your hometown forever because you know, living and dying in the same house is too Emily Dickinson to be cool anymore (I joke), and then there was finding someone to attend the dance with you… High school was that strange period in life where you’re rushing to find things out before you leave for college, vocational school, and/or settling down with a job. Subjects learned: Maths, Sciences, English, Foreign Language, American History, World History, Electives, Physical Education, Economics, Law, etc. Depending on what state you went to and what requirements were in place, your high school education could have looked like anything. Also after school clubs and sports went a long way for your social life. This is also the age where you suddenly realize you have three apples and Mary Jane Vanderbilt/Onassis/insert-rich-family-name-here has twenty-five billion apples… the difference in life advantages between three and twenty-five billion are insurmountable… unless of course you’re intellectually one of the top 1% of your class and can afford to apply anywhere you want. But really, most of us were in the other 99% anyway >.>

 JAPAN

Teachers: You are mother/father/nutritional counselor/sports coach/friend/cheerleader/moral instructor/teacher to your students. You emphasize rote memorization over critical thinking. Every three years or so, you face the risk of being uprooted from the institution where you teach and forced to relocate within the span of two weeks. As a new teacher you start at level 0 (no trust, no real responsibilities, and your presented ideas will not be seriously considered by any of your coworkers). The more years you’ve put into your institution, the more seriously you will be taken and the more responsibilities you will be given. You start work at dawn and at 10pm you’re still at your desk pulling overtime to be amazing. If your students get into trouble, the first person the police will contact is you and not the parents.

Preschool & Kindergarten (optional): The focal point of your education revolves around learning your shapes from your colors and how to use the toilet properly. Basically, whatever your American counterparts are learning but in Japanese. Also, moral education is considered the responsibility of the school. I can’t tell the difference from preschool or kindergarten in Japan. Preschool might have more of a day care vibe but I’m sure they have an educational curriculum as well. Children at this age are being prepped to be miniature adults in the subtler arts of politeness and etiquette. I’ve been faced with children as young as 3 who can sit still for a whole five minutes in seiza (which is quite the accomplishment if you knew how painful it normally is… that and they’re three years old… what three year old can stay still for five whole minutes?!).

Elementary school (1st grade to 6th grade): Compulsory. This is the first time you will have been separated from your parents if you didn’t attend either preschool or kindergarten. You have an entire classroom full of friends, with whom you are socially obligated to be friendly and kind. Yes. You are obligated to get along with EVERYONE. If you do not play by the invisible social rules that you soak up through careful watching and listening, you will be ostracized in the worst possible way to shame you into reforming your conduct (I wish I were joking). Because everyone is required to eat the same school lunch (delivered by the local food packing center), you learn the ninja ways of secretly stashing food until the teacher looks the other way and you can pass it to your friend who will eat it for you. In turn, you will eat food that your friend hates when the time comes to return the favor. Subjects learned: Math, Science, Japanese, English (grades 5 and 6, 1st through 4th receiving occasional instruction), Calligraphy, Arts and Crafts, Home Economics, Physical Education, Social Studies, Music.

Middle School (7th to 9th grade): Compulsory. If you were bubbly, full of life, and generally the happiest person that ever walked the planet at age 11… middle school is about to change all that. You start wearing a uniform, you’re worked to the bone in rigorous school subject, and are expected to conform to institutional standards of conduct. You memorize the book and regurgitate it for the test. Clubs and after school activities are one of the few times you actually have fun in school. Hormones run rampant. You look forward to lunchtime every day because by the end of the first four school periods, whatever you had for breakfast was just enough to get you through to third period but not fourth. Around this time you’re becoming more and more aware that being an adult is over-rated. You’ve been entrusted with responsibility since you could walk. Your excitement levels peak at school festival season and vacation time. To Americans, you appear like soulless zombies, but in reality you’re just trying to survive the battlefield that is intensive rote memorization learning to pass the high school entrance exam. Subjects learned: Math, science, Japanese, Home Economics, Music, History, Social Studies, Art, and after school clubs are mandatory. You will attend high school even if it’s not mandatory because life without a high school degree is too hard to live…. even if it means putting up with English for another THREE WHOLE years.

High School (10th to 12th grade): Not compulsory. I have no idea what you’re like by the time you’re fifteen but I can only imagine, given that middle school is so rough to survive. You had to pass the high school entrance exam. The bane of your life (aka English) is one massive pain in the patootty. Unless of course you’re one of the 1% who actually enjoy and can keep up with all the arbitrary non-rules of a western foreign language.

28 June 2014

appel quay sophienedjelkocabrinovic_gavriloprincip franzferdinand

100 years since the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his wife Sophie by Gavrilo Princip in Sarajevo, a politically charged event that would be used as the excuse to catapult Europe into the first World War. I find it interesting that on this day the History Channel would rather do a biopic on cars while Google celebrates the World Cup match between Uruguay and Colombia than on the 100th anniversary of a critical, history making event.

Facts remain as history progresses forward in its own story: Gavrilo Princip, a 19 year old nationalist enlisted in the Black Hand, assassinates a member of Austrian aristocracy as well as the future emperor of the Austro-Hungarian empire and his wife as they drive through the streets of Sarajevo. It’s a tragic story for all parties involved – the Archduke and his wife died not too long after and Gavrilo succumbs to illness in prison seven months before armistice in 1918, he would never live to see the full ramifications of his decisions play out in the greatest historical war theatre: World War II. Imagine that. For an instance. A man decides to take one life, an event which will knock down the dominoes of history, and two decades later millions will die in gas chambers because those dominoes fell in such a way that would allow the likes of vegetarian, animal rights activist, and failed artist to take over Germany. This isn’t to say that what Gavrilo Princip did was out of malicious intent to persecute a population that adhered to a certain religious practice… but it does place long-term perspective, especially the idea that we have no idea what will happen once we get the ball rolling.

The first that I heard of this incident I was fifteen, attending Mr. Prior’s sophomore level World History Honors course. Dynamic, witty, and charming Mr. Prior could spin a tale so vivid that it left you at the edge of your seat – he did what so few teachers and professors are capable of doing: he brought the dull and musty pages of history to technicolor if not digital life. That day he opened up class with a hypothetical situation that made us think we were going to do something quite different… it sounded like a lecture on suicide prevention, almost like a school mandated intervention.

Mr. Prior: “Good morning, everyone. Today we are going to discuss something quite serious, it may even be happening to someone you know. Imagine there was a guy in your class who all the girls loved and all the other boys wanted to be-“

Male Student: “What if I’m gay? Saying I can’t fall in love with him, Mr. P?”

Mr. Prior: “Touche! Alright who all the other boys wanted to be and all the straight/bi girls and gay/bi boys fell in love with so easily. Cool?”

Male Student: “Cool. But why does everyone have to like him that much?”

Mr. Prior: “Because he’s popular, wealthy, cultured, strong, intelligent, successful, voted most likely to be the future CEO of insert-fortune-500-corporation-here… he’ s just got it all: loving family, girlfriend – or boyfriend – and just the whole world thinks he’s fabulous. But… what if one day I’m standing here in front of you to tell you that your beloved student is dead. He just went home one day, took out his father’s gun, loaded it, and shot himself in the head.”

Everyone: *Silence. I guess we were all pretty much wondering what the heck was going on in class today*

Mr. Prior: “So, I want you all to ask yourselves a question: Why? Why would this person do that: the world looks up to him, he’s got it all, and one day he just decides to blow his brains out. That is the question you will be asking yourself over the course of the next three months as we cover Europe (which had it all: power, prestige, culture, respect) and their decision to enter war over a political death, how that turned into a World War, and more importantly, if this is what’s happening to a country you know and live in (albeit we’re slightly less cultured and sophisticated and all-round not as well liked but we still have a lot going for it. Keep it in the back of your minds).”

And we did. I don’t know if he realizes just how much he revolutionized our worlds. Those last three months of school were perhaps the most enlightening in that we learned a valuable lesson about international politics that was in all honesty quite frightening: first, the idea that what one would at first consider to be a politically insignificant event only years earlier suddenly has new meaning under the right circumstances. Secondly, sometimes it just doesn’t matter why something happens – the reason could have been anything in the end, not sure how anyone feels about conspiracy theories because I’m not trying to push one – because if the powers that be are itching for a war, for a reason to use the toys they’ve been amassing… it will happen.

TO READ MORE ON THE DAY THAT CHANGED THE COURSE OF HISTORY

A Century Ago in Sarajevo: A Plot, A Farce, and a Fateful Shot

This Day in History: Archduke Franz Ferdinand Assassinated

BBC World News: Countdown to War

Bosnia Marks 100th Anniversary of Franz Ferdinand’s Death